Emptybottle.org: Questions of Poop

Have you ever been caught out in the middle of the night in a park with a runny bum and a convulsing bowel, had to squat and squirt like a beast behind a bush somewhere, and in lieu of paper or leaves or pretty much anything that could be profitably employed for the wiping of the soiled starfish, come up with the brilliant idea of dragging your bum along the dewy grass a bit (learned from the childhood observation of your dog 'Boomer' when he had worms) to clean off any klingons?

No, me neither. I was just checking.

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Well, this is a post to the personal website Emptybottle.org. It was posted by your genial host stavrosthewonderchicken on August 21, 2002, and is titled Questions of Poop. It was published to the categories: Random Silliness. In any of those places you might well find other similar things that will bring you Super Double Happiness.

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Comments: You got fingers, right?

6 Comments |

1
adam said

I can not wait to work the term "soiled starfish" into a conversation now.

August 21, 2002 7:07 AM
2
Coldchef said

I prefer "rusty red ring."

August 21, 2002 4:09 PM
3
cory said

Wow, MY dog was named Boomer, too! "soiled starfish" is an excellent term; I'm partial to "browneye" myself. Makes me smile every time I hear Van Morrison.

August 21, 2002 5:11 PM
4
Jonathon Delacour said

Thanks, Stav, for making me laugh out loud.

Hadn't heard of "soiled starfish" but in Australia we usually refer to it as a "freckle", a "date", or a "coit".

A quick Google search revealed a couple of goodies: "sheriff's badge" and "tea-towel holder".

August 21, 2002 6:28 PM
5
Anita said

Oh Gawd! And there goes my breakfast.

August 21, 2002 11:38 PM
6
John said

Just wipe with your underwear, discard the underwear, and hope that nothing gets caught in your zipper before you can make it home to acquire another pair. Otherwise, much like Boomer, you're going to get ass-worms.

August 22, 2002 3:17 PM