Emptybottle.org

No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes


NOSEWARS

Politicians and their honkers. Bifurcation and duality and a damn fine cup of java. Oh friends, if we could identify evil, if we could point out those who bear the Mark Of The Beast so easily, if we could pinpoint the cheery monetarized f--kweasels that push the envelope down into the dirt, what would we do? String 'em up? Knot and pull and bellow 'Woo-hoo, look at him swayng!', lynch-mobilize with foam-rubber fingers pointed skyward, dripping oily sweat and reeking of sweet hormonal bourbon? Crucify the bastards, maybe, thieves and saviors alike, nail 'em up, stand back, point and laugh as they writhe and beg, and f--k the moral equivalence with a stainless-steel strap-on? Kill 'em all and let God sort them out, vengeful but eminently fair bitch that she is?

Not clear as an unmuddied pool under skies of deepest azure, no, more like clear as paper rubbed with the labial edge of Big Mac™. Translucent, but tasty.

What would we do if we could scent the evil on these f--kers, if we could see it like a sh-t-brown aura? What would we do?

Me, I got me a clue. Gimme a silver bullet, friend, and I'll kill the werewolves. Drop the predators in their tracks. But be aware : another waits to take the Big Bad Wolf's place, and the new one is without fail even worse, dollars to damned donuts. It doesn't get better, it gets sillier. And even though nature apparently abhors a vacuum, the identical cheese-hostesses keep sucking harder.

Clog, pony boy, clog!

About This Post

What is this? Why am I here? What does it mean? Where should I go now?

Well, this is a post to the personal website Emptybottle.org. It was posted by your genial host stavrosthewonderchicken on September 16, 2002, and is titled NOSEWARS. It was published to the categories: Politics Chafe My Scrote. In any of those places you might well find other similar things that will bring you Super Double Happiness.

Note: Super Double Happiness is not guaranteed. Void where prohibited by local regulation.

If you feel like it, why not join the personal publishing revolution and leave a comment

You can also subscribe to the comments feed for this post. Not sure why you'd want to, but I aim to please.

The previous entry on the site is Pacing The Cage, and the next one is Kimchi and Booze.

Enjoy your stay, and please indulge sensibly.

Need hosting? Emptybottle.org is hosted by and recommends Dreamhost. They're swell!
Comments: You got fingers, right?
9 Comments |
  1. Yeah, I'm back. Bow to the Riff Lord.

    September 16, 2002 7:20 AM

  2. 2

    Ed said

    Thank yo momma for the vegetable beef soup. Good to see you back. :)

    September 16, 2002 10:36 AM

  3. 3

    Pete said

    I'm glad to see you back as well, you make me laugh.

    Ps. I'm a Brit

    September 16, 2002 12:30 PM

  4. 4

    dg said

    Welcome back (as in the theme from "Welcome Back Kotter")

    September 16, 2002 2:43 PM

  5. 5

    yhbc said

    So, is this like emptybottle.lite?

    September 16, 2002 8:29 PM

  6. Yay! I lay prostrate at the feet of the Riffster. I genuflect in your direction. I leave the tears of joy on my face for all to see my overwhelming happiness at the return of the Lord. I run around the room and hug everybody, even those I don't know, in sheer elation.

    Uh, in other words, welcome back. And what yhbc said.

    September 17, 2002 5:54 AM

  7. Ah, heck, that 'bow to the Riff Lord' thing is just an old chestnut I pull out when I'm trying to puncture my own near-impermeable Arrogance Membrane (insane in the membrane)...

    Thanks for the welcomes back, although, in case no one noticed (yeah, right) I did squeeze out this post in the wake of a vodkafueled photoshop session, and for some now-forgotten reason decided to bed the result down in a nice billowy nest of only slightly random words. I'm still all conflicted about this blogging thing, and thus the simple-ass storefront remains, as The Commish suggests, and it's emptybottle.lite for the moment.

    A brainstorm will eventually build, hopefully, and I'll reinvent, in PhoenixChicken style. Until then, sporadic missives from the front lines in the War on Things That Piss Me Off will probably be the best I can do...

    Again, thanks for sticking around, everyone. Or at least everyone who did stick around. The rest of you can go stick your head in a pig.

    Heh.

    September 18, 2002 11:25 PM

  8. 8

    dg said

    For what it's worth (ie sweet fuck all), I prefer the "lite" layout. Looks much cleaner.

    September 19, 2002 4:38 PM

  9. Give a pig some head? No thanks.

    September 20, 2002 5:39 AM

Metablogging

What's It All About, Alfie?

I have operated on a few simple principles for more than two decades now, with good success. First, do no harm. Or as little as [read more...]

Emptybottle Version 4.0

Well, I've rolled out the new design to the front page (as you can see if you're not reading this in a feedreader). I'm pretty [read more...]

Me|dia

What's It All About, Alfie?

I have operated on a few simple principles for more than two decades now, with good success. First, do no harm. Or as little as [read more...]

First Paragraphs From Stories I'll Never Write Episode 2

The nails didn't hurt nearly as much as I'd expected going in, but the pain bombshell blossomed as they dropped the post into the hole [read more...]

Thoughts That, If Not Deep, Are At Least Wide

LOLifornication

I've been downloading and cycloptically watching the new series Californication because a) I quite like David Duchovny b) he plays a hard-drinking writer c) the [read more...]

Armageddon Schadenfreude

When I was a teenager, I thought a lot about the end of the world. In particular, the rain of nukes that always seemed just [read more...]

Reminiscences

My Home Is Dying

When you grow up in the far north in Canada, if you're at all curious about the world and the people in it, you can't [read more...]

Armageddon Schadenfreude

When I was a teenager, I thought a lot about the end of the world. In particular, the rain of nukes that always seemed just [read more...]

Advertisement



Visit all the fine destinations in the Wonderchicken Industries™ Network