Emptybottle.org: Deeply Weird

The Samsung ladyphone : just one of those occasional excrescences of Korean weirdness into English, not just cognitive dissonance-inducing mistranslation, but a brief glimpse into the whirling void of cluelessness that yawns at the core of this nation of loveable doozers.

There's more than just those 32 chips of cubic zirconia (wow, that's class!) and a built in make-up mirror. Much, much more! Check out these just-for-her features!

Features for Women

- Biorhythm
- Fatness Index
- Calorie Calculator
- Pink Schedule
- Menstruation

Excellent! A phone with Menstruation and a Fatness Index! I don't know what a Pink Schedule is, but I want one! I'm in gadget heaven, and I'm not even a woman!

Yikes.

About This Post

What is this? Why am I here? What does it mean? Where should I go now?

Well, this is a post to the personal website Emptybottle.org. It was posted by your genial host stavrosthewonderchicken on March 31, 2003, and is titled Deeply Weird. It was published to the categories: Korea-related. In any of those places you might well find other similar things that will bring you Super Double Happiness.

Note: Super Double Happiness is not guaranteed. Void where prohibited by local regulation.

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The previous entry on the site is No Cheat Sheets, and the next one is Visualization.

Enjoy your stay, and please indulge sensibly.

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Comments: You got fingers, right?

7 Comments |

1
Andrew said

I gather the Pink schedule is to do with ovulation, for those girlies intent on getting pregnant. This is perhaps of limited use to blokes, though it might be fun to play with. The Fatness Index intrigues me: I can only surmise that the Index ranges from "Very Slim and Desirable" to "Just Perfect", values like "Cuddly", "Rubenesque", etc. being considered a little too risky.

March 31, 2003 3:59 AM
2
lille said

well korea is the one place in the world where women have MENSTRUATION leave!

April 1, 2003 2:15 AM
3
stavrosthewonderchicken said

I've heard this as well, but it may be apocryphal, or at least wildly unusual.

April 1, 2003 3:24 AM
4
Melanie said

I'm a bit flummoxed by the 'women's features' of this phone. A Calorie counter, Fat Index, Biorhythm, Menstruation... not to mention the oddly-named 'Pink Index" all make the phone sound like a bad issue of Cosmo. Who the hell did the market research for this little device? Actually, looking at the phone, I think it could do very well on the gay market. A diamonte encrusted phone is very camp, you have to admit.

April 2, 2003 7:35 AM
5
dg said

Ah, but does it vibrate?

April 2, 2003 7:36 PM
6
stavrosthewonderchicken said

*smacks dg*

April 2, 2003 8:35 PM
7
AmiraLaShay said

what is the real need for thes things they are just useless ways to make a quick dollor. dosen't anyone feel prode in earning really earning what they have? i know i like knowing i make it on my own. but i can also see the humor in these things and i in vest in anything that vibrates. lol.

May 17, 2003 9:37 AM