Emptybottle.org: Disclosure

I have not received a laptop from Microsoft. I have not received an iPod from Apple, or any of the vastly-superior mp3 players from iriver. I have not received books from Amazon. I have not received a camera from Canon. I have not received consumer crap of any kind. I have not received any cheese from Wisconsin, any lumber from British Columbia, any snow from the eskimos, or any coals from Newcastle. I have not received a massage from the Swedish Prime Minister, nor have I received a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky, Monica Seles, Monty Hall, or Ronald MacDonald. I have not received detached wisdom from the Buddha, tough love from the baby Jesus, or a kick in the stones from Allah. I have not received the proceeds of crime, I have not received the wages of sin. I have not received censure from the Senate or congratulations from Congress. I have not received any medals, any commendations, or any blog-battlefield commissions. I have not received any allurements or enticements, gifts or gratuities, inducements, buyoffs, compensations, kickbacks, sops or sweeteners. I have not been lashed to the mast to resist the sweet siren songs of the blogwhoring enablers.

But every man has his price. And every woman hers. So talk to me, shills. I got influence like a goat's got balls -- hairy, heavy, and permeating a surprisingly large area with an indescribable funk.

About This Post

What is this? Why am I here? What does it mean? Where should I go now?

Well, this is a post to the personal website Emptybottle.org. It was posted by your genial host stavrosthewonderchicken on December 29, 2006, and is titled Disclosure. It was published to the categories: Metablogging, and Uncategorizable Crap. In any of those places you might well find other similar things that will bring you Super Double Happiness.

Note: Super Double Happiness is not guaranteed. Void where prohibited by local regulation.

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The previous entry on the site is Five Things I Don't Know About Myself, and the next one is Coke, Pepsi, Anal, Fork, Spoon, Saddam.

Enjoy your stay, and please indulge sensibly.

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Comments: You got fingers, right?

2 Comments |

1
joseph duemer said

This made me laugh until tears rolled down my face. I guess that's going to have to be enough gratification for both of us, Stavros.

December 30, 2006 4:27 AM
2
stavrosthewonderchicken said

That's plenty, Joe, that's plenty.

January 1, 2007 3:05 PM