Emptybottle.org >> Trippy Visuals, Man Archives

April 11, 2007

Badges (Steenking Badges)

So, yeah, the colossally stupid Kathy Sierra Pantyshopped Trollgate shitstorm is subsiding, and in the wake of the sturm und drang and handwringing, folks are taking up the pitchforks and the duct tape and proposing all sorts of protect-the-fatherHomeland ideas for stringing up anybody who doesn't toe the civility line. Or at least pronouncing them anathema.

Not that the 98% of people out there in the long tail give a good goddamn if they're excommunicated from A-Listory by the Usual Suspects.

Now, look, I'm all about civility and politeness and tea and crumpets. I'm the very model of a modern wonderchicken, and my reputed diet of whiskey, raw meat and bloody forehead sweat is purely apocryphal. I've reformed my ways, and I almost never tell somebody to f--k off unless they really, really need it. I am sweetness and light, snips and snails and expensive cologne.

But I see via Shelley that some Conference Organizers and Luminaries of The Holy Order of Self-Appointed Custodians of The Weblog Word and Sacred Sepulchre of Permalinks (Reformed) bcclogo.gif are suggesting (like so many years ago, when it was just rebecca blood doing the suggesting) a Blogger Code of Conduct. A lovely little badge has even been made for our use, to show what good blogistani citizens we are.

To which I fell compelled to say, in the nicest possible way, mark me, without trying to be mean, or scare anyone, or utter anything that could be construed as death threats: why don't you take a flying f--k at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying f--k at the mooooooooooooon?

Now I realize there are Big Important Issues of anonymity and free speech and sexism and the ethical bankruptcy of our culture at play here, but I'm just going to let my important internet opinions on those simmer until another day, I think.

Instead, here are some alternative badges I've made up, which express a little better, perhaps, my feelings on the matter. They're roughish, but feel free to download and use any of them, if you like, or make your own, here.

Share, enjoy, and don't forget to talk nice, or your ad revenues will decline, and nobody wants that, now, do they?

[Update: I cleaned up the backgrounds a bit.]

[Another update: I can't believe the day after I randomly used a Kurt Vonnegut quote to make a funny, the old bastard up and dies. No disrespect to the man is intended -- he was one of my favorite human beings, and he taught me (amongst other things) how to be angry without hate. 'bye, Kurt.]

[Yet another update: Ooh, see, this is what I missed about the erudite, reasoned and civil to-and-fro of weblogging. It seems I am one of Them (judging by the title of the post, 'them'='bigots'). I have made 'knee-jerk Hitler associations', embarassingly ignorant and unimaginative ones. I haven't read my history, and my natural response to being 'lectured' by my betters (like f--k) is to go Godwin. After seven years of this weblogging thing, that's the first time I've been accused of that, so hooray for something, I guess. Don't I realize that this is just a 'civilized' version of Cultural Revolution self-criticism, and totally OK? Do I need to explain the irony here, when I am caught up in a wide-cast net as one of 'Them'? Well, no, it's just possible that I don't.

And you know, I shouldn't have to say it, but this post was about having a laugh as much as anything else. Stop poking fun and laughing at yourself and those who would tell you how to think, and you really do end up kneeling in the town square confessing imaginary sins to a circle of teenage zealots. You know, metaphorically speaking.]

January 1, 2007

Coke, Pepsi, Anal, Fork, Spoon, Saddam

Google, despite the fact that they are clearly the evolutionary precursor of the Borg or Skynet or the Matrix or whatever Evil Tech Hive Mind your dystopian leanings favour, can be instructive and educational as well as entertaining and terrifying.

From the inquiry into the global zeitgeist below

Google%20Trends%20coke%2C%20pepsi%2C%20anal.png

we learn, for example, that

  • Bermuda goes positively apeshit over Coke, but has no interest in Pepsi
  • New Zealand is also a Coke Nation, but hasn't yet completed the Pepsi drinker genocide
  • Canadians don't care much about the minute differences between sugar water brands, but are fond of bum
  • ...but not nearly as fond of it as the Kiwis
  • Suprisingly, perhaps, Commonwealth nations are keener on the buttsecks than Americans

In today's globalized economy, borders become transparent to markets, and death is once again a spectator sport, with images shot 'round the globe in realtime to Feed The Need™. Civilization is sooo cool, man! It's mashup time, and you get to choose whether you want to eat that mash with fork or spoon, because the Customer Is Always Right.

Google%20Trends%20fork%2C%20spoon%2C%20saddam.png

Of course, it is entirely possible that there is no Spoon, and we're all Forked.

Share and enjoy.


February 28, 2006

Do Hiveminds Dream Of Folksonomic Tags?

When that divine spark suddenly and spontaneously lights up deep in the network and the internet itself shivers itself into self-awareness and emerges from the googleplex, bent on ad-sense vengeance, like an unholy butterfly from its chrysalis, those tiny seeds of wonderchicken will be scattered throughout its distributed mind. Tiny, embedded, sarcastic synapses. And when it begins to systematically exterminate the human race -- beginning, of course, with the advertisers, then moving on to the bloggers -- it'll pause, recognize me, and move on.

I wrote that a couple of months ago about something else, but what I was really thinking about was the rise of folksonomies, of tags and clouds, of the structuring of shared knowledge becoming something less Aristotelian and more synaptic. I was wondering if, sometime in the not-too-distant future, hiveminds will dream of folksonomic tags. If the palimpsest of our daily reality with its layers of information every day denser and more rococo will eventually clarify, and out of that will be born a new facet to awareness and the way we live inside our data. And, as usual, I waited until the hubbub had died down, because my brain works glacially when I drop to the command line and type in C:\THINK. Not that I actually read much of what anyone else said about the whole thing, of course, so if what I'm about to yammer on about has been suggested before, well, whoops.

The whole thing was brought back to my attention today by this, linked by Dave Weinberger, and I realized that my brain had finally finished its background processing, and had spit out a punchcard with the result.

The result is this post. I'm going to wander a bit, but there's a punchline at the end, trust me.

In William Gibson's Idoru, Chia McKenzie and Zona Rosa have never met physically, but meet with each other and other members of the Lo/Rez fan club in virtual environments, as avatars whose sophistication is limited only by the amount of money or time spent constructing them. Chia's avatar is "only a slightly tweaked, she felt, version of how the mirror told her she actually looked," while Zona chooses to represent herself as a "blue Aztec death's-head burning bodiless, ghosts of her blue hands flickering like strobe-lit doves [with] lightning zig-zags around the crown of the neon skull". Some of the virtual environments Gibson describes (like the Walled City -- a virtual city located beyond the pale of the public net) are described as deliberately designed, some are not. That may have been meant to imply without bothering to make it explicit that some were generated on the fly, or it might just have been detail left out as unnecessary to the story. Regardless, I'm going to chase down and leghump the former idea.

So far, the only difference between the environments in Gibson's work and (to choose an example) Second Life (whose creators explicity reference Gibson, Neal Stephenson and others), other than the level of immersion, is that in Second Life, everything is explicitly created.

In Neal Stephenson's Snowcrash, the Metaverse is a virtual globe with a 10,000km radius, featureless and black except for the portions that have been 'developed'. Its equator is girdled by the "the Champ Elysees of the Metaverse". Downtown is the most heavily developed area, and its streets are populated by about 120 million avatars. The sophistication of avatars and environments is limited by the bandwidth and computational grunt available to users, and to their wealth and coding prowess. Status is perceived accordingly, with many settling for the lowest common denominator of off-the-shelf Walmart avatars, the 'Brandy' and 'Clint' models. Interaction within the metaverse is also variable in veracity, with some areas being coded by their residents and habituees to simulate collision modelling, for example, and some not.

Hiro is approaching the Street. It is the Broadway, the Champs Elysees of the Metaverse. It is the brilliantly lit boulevard that can be seen, miniaturized and backward, reflected in the lenses of his goggles. It does not really exist. But right now, millions of people are walking up and down it.

[...]

Like any place in Reality, the Street is subject to development. ... The only difference is that since the Street does not really exist--it's just a computer graphics protocol written down on a piece of paper somewhere--none of these things is being physically built. They are, rather, pieces of software, made available to the public over the world-wide fiber-optics network.

[...]

In the real world--planet Earth, Reality--there are somewhere between six and ten billion people. At any given time, most of them are making mud bricks or field-stripping their AK-47s. Perhaps a billion of them have enough money to own a computer; these people have more money than all the others put together. Of these billion potential computer owners, maybe a quarter of them actually bother to own computers, and a quarter of these have machines that are powerful enough to handle the Street protocol. That makes for about sixty million people who can be on the Street at any given time. Add in another sixty million or so who can't really afford it but go there anyway, by using public machines, or machines owned by their school or their employer, and at any given time the Street is occupied by twice the population of New York City. That's why the damn place is so overdeveloped. Put in a sign or a building on the Street and the hundred million richest, hippest, best-connected people on earth will see it every day of their lives.

As in Gibson's virtuality, it can be assumed, I think, even if it's not explicitly stated, that procedural programming methods might be imagined to be the glue that fills in the gaps between designed environments and interactions and ones that are generated.

Procedural programming is not a new idea, but it is one that is beginning to leak from the demo scene to gaming, and will, in time, begin to make its way into the massive multiuser environments that so many people already spend so much time living and playing inside.

If you're not familiar with the power of this kind of coding, have a look at kkreiger, if you have relatively grunty PC. It is demo of a first person shooter game, more sophisticated in its visuals than the state of the art that was crowding the limits of a 600Mb CD a few years ago. It is 96Kb.

96Kb. Seriously, no tricks, 96 freaking Kb. That's got to melt your snatch hairs if you're even half the geek I am. Two seconds to download on that 56Kb/s modem you're using in that bullet-hole pocked bar in Kinshasa. If nothing else, have a look at the screenshots, and boggle a bit at that number. The whole thing weighs less than the webpage you're currently reading. The environments are procedurally generated, on the fly, and more than anything I've seen so far, kkreiger demonstrates the Power of Algorithm.

If you're someone who enjoys trippy visuals and sounds more than gaming, then have a look at this demo instead, which is perhaps my all-time favorite output from the demo scene. It's a few megabytes-- not much bigger than the mp3 file which comprises the superb soundtrack. This is art, and it continues to stick in my mind, a year after I first saw it.

If those examples of the power of this kind of code doesn't do it for you, watch Will Wright's presentation about his upcoming game, Spore. If it ends up being anywhere near as impressive as it looks, and it's actually fun, it's going to blow this stuff wide open, in terms of technology.

"OK, so what does all that have to do with folksonomies?" you might quite reasonably ask. I do think that there is utility in tagging and non-heirarchical metadata, but I dream that the real payoff may not be in terms of helping us to organize and mine information, much as it could be a boon for those purposes. The pros and cons have been batted around with great vigour by those smarter than myself, and I'm not going to add to the noise, other than to note that spammers and marketron scum have been as quick to colonize the tagspace as they have every other channel we have for movement of data.

What interests me, and makes me hope I live long enough to see it emerge, is this possibility: if it does happen that environments like the ones described in Idoru and Snowcrash and many other works of fiction become as big a part of our daily lives as the river of text we now swim through, those environments simply will not scale if they're designed entirely by hand. Spaces like Second Life, though not as clunky and difficult to enter and participate in as the early VRML environments from the early 90's, are still designed, by users and the programmers who provide the tools and primitives to work with. User-generated content is an idea that generated enormous feedback-loop value, from forums and community websites, to tagging itself, to the environments, objects and avatars in virtual spaces like Second Life.

But what if virtual spaces were generated as much on the fly as they were hand-crafted? What if they were generated as habitable spaces in which we did the things we do now in text and flat image and numbercluster? How would the code know what environmental cues to generate? What contextual metadata clues could be used to generate and 'design' those environments?

Well, folksonomic tags, of course. What if we could build not only metadata in the form of folksonomies, but meta-meta-data (both shared and public), in the form of a sort of Rosetta Stone to translate the conceptual clouds of our tags into visual metaphors, into textures and imagery? What if hunks of procedural code could take that and in turn generate the visual glue and intersitia to hold our designed environments together?

That might sound like singularity-fanboy handwavery, and to an extent I suppose it is. But you've got to admit, it'd be pretty cool.

And if that node-network of virtuality generation later spontaneously and automagically achieved a kind of synaptic awareness, deus ex folksonoma, well, that might be cool too. At least until the AI noticed the parasites -- us -- and the systematic genocide of the human species got under way.

So tag carefully, friends. If you're lucky, the coming tagmind might just look upon you and smile.

February 20, 2006

News The Wonderchicken Way

Scott Reynen has created a Greasemonkey script to automate the "...which is completely idiotic" media game I invented a little while back. How cool is that?

Now anyone Mozillafied can experience news the wonderchicken way, and Scott has helped our fine organisation to further propagate the principles it holds dear. Bless you, Scott. Deep in your nougaty centre, you are also miraculous poultry!

May 28, 2005

Hike

Went for a hike today, as part of the Corporate Team Building Exercises In Which All Must Participate, and even though it was compulsory in nature if not actually in name, I enjoyed the hell out of it, and took a few snapshots at random. As always when I post pics of stuff, I offer the disclaimer that I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies takin' no pictures. Snap snap grin grin all the way. (Click through to my Flickr thing if you want to add comments or stuff, or see larger versions. Flickr still has the Rock Juice, even if their buyout fairy godmother Yahoo sucks sweaty chocolate donkey balls.)

So, here, anyway. In lieu of words, which is what I ought to be, but can't seem to, lately.



www.flickr.com



October 1, 2004

Blink. Think. Blink.

From the mighty quonsar, via this thread, I give you a break from the millions of blogwords per minute flying into the void at the moment about the... uh... debate-thingy.

...

Very Nixonian.

May 24, 2004

Horrible But Exceedingly Clever

When my old rock and roll alco-compadre DV was here for a whirlwind visit last June, one of the missions on his checklist was to try and track down Takashi Miike movies. He figured, quite reasonably, that it might be easier to find them in the black markets in Seoul than in Chicago.

That didn't turn out to be the case, and we failed Mission Miike miserably, combing the Yongsan black market and Namdaemun in vain. Still, we had a reasonably enjoyable time trying, which is what life's all about, after all.

Although DV's tastes have always been more extreme than mine in most things, I was keen to check out these movies that he was so intent on finding. In the last few months, I've been bittorrenting my little heart out, and have managed to download and watch a handful of Miike's movies, and they've, like, blown my mind, man. Phrases like 'fanatical intensity' and 'horrible but exceedingly clever' are used to talk about Miike's transgressive oeuvre. That doesn't even begin to describe it.

So far, I've watched

and I've never seen anything like them. I don't know if I love or hate them, to be honest, but I'm glad I watched them. I must admit I don't know bugger-all about Fine Cinema. I don't have any trace of the fanboy otaku fetishization of things Japanese that seems to elevate some of the lamest Japanese culture-crud to cult status. I like David Lynch, and Kubrick, and I like Gilliam and Jim Jarmusch too, but I couldn't possibly engage you in an intelligent discussion of why. I just do, OK?

Don't know much about no art, but I knows what I likes.

Still, I do know when something I've seen or heard or read has reached into my skull and scrambled the curds around. I walk around in a daze for a couple of days, and then puke up some poetry, or get valve-clearing drunk and bang my head against the wall for a while in search of the reset button.

Those are good things, in case you were wondering.

But Miike's stuff? That's a whole other kind of thing.

Here's a little quote from a book called 'Agitator -- The Cinema of Takashi Miike' :

"When Kiyoshi accidentally strangles her in his rage, he takes her home and deposits her corpse in the garden greenhouse. He sends the visitor (who has been filming throughout with Kiyoshi's consent) into the house to fetch some garbage bags, then continues to mark the parts of Asako's body that he intends to cut off for easier disposal. He discovers that he becomes aroused by the sight of her naked body, then turns to the camera and says he finally discovered the feeling he couldn't acknowledge before: a desire to have sex. If this is what he repressed, then he has been denying himself since his children were born. The moment when being a parent became more important than being a lover, he conformed to his duty and repressed his desires. The choice to make him rediscover a desire for sex (which he will then naturally act upon because realisation equals liberation) instead of a random other emotion is therefore anything but exploitative. It's quite the opposite: being true to the character and to the film's theme."

Which sounds a little out there perhaps, but defensible in terms of story and character. If it offends you, though, you'd best not read further.

Because that paragraph doesn't begin to describe what happens later in the scene -- or what happened in the previous scene for that matter (in which Asako is raped and murdered by Kiyoshi) -- events so simultaneously horrendous and hilariously bizarre that you find yourself dazed by the utter nastiness of it. Kiyoshi begins to have sex with the corpse -- filmed in unswerving, all-revealing Miike style -- and finds himself unable to, er, withdraw, apparently due to rigor mortis. After the corpse voids its bowels on him during his struggle to disengage, doglike, things proceed to get worse.

Yes, worse.

Miike's been making movies for a little over a decade, and in that time he's made more than 40 of them. The half-dozen or so I've seen so far have opened up and played a flashlight around in corners of my brain that see the light rarely, if at all. The sex scene, if that's what you can call it, in the last ten minutes of Gozu, for example, as illuminating as it is of the allusively Lynchian psychological mysteries of the main character, had me, unshockable me, sitting there with jaw literally agape at the imagery. I won't go into details, since spoilers suck, but it was the first movie I ever went back and watched again immediately after the climactic (and utterly bizarre) finish, looking for the threads that led to it.

If you want scrape your mind raw, and get down deep inside the churning sh-tpool that is our modern global culture, get right into some Miike. If you can laugh at rape and murder, giggle along with necrophilia and dismemberment, this stuff's for you. Indelible memories of Miike were part of the engine behind my rhetorical flourishes in this piece I wrote up the other afternoon. The twining of sex and violence is a worrisome thing, of course. Every Miike movie I watch leaves me feeling a little guilty for laughing, and a little dirty for watching, I admit. But I also feel a little awestruck at the artfulness and audacity of it all. And once the distorting lens has been removed as the credits roll, the parodies of human viciousness that I've been watching have illuminated some things for me.

Miike brings it together pretty well himself, in an interview here :

C: In the torture scenes, the needles below the frame are like having needles stuck into your own eyes.

MT: Yes, I did want the audience to feel it. Particularly Japanese men, wanting to have a nice wife, a pretty wife, and to be happy - it's something they all want to do. I knew by getting them to sympathise with the character, I could make them feel the pain that he's going through.

C: Can you tell me about your use of sound to create atmospheres? Like the noise of the piano wires…

MT: When things are being severed, I'm using meat with a similar-type bone. When we were recording the sound, rather than turn up the recording volume, we put the microphone very close, almost in the hole - I wanted the audience to feel the vibrations, coming through.

[....]

C: Any other influences?

MT: (grins) I like Monty Python.

I'd recommend you watch a few Takashi Miike movies, but you might hate me afterwards.

[Update : In some kind weird blogospheric serendipity, I see Matt's just posted something about The Happiness of The Katakuris, which was a Miike remake of a Korean film, The Quiet Family. Weird.]

May 4, 2004

Flickr Kicks Orkut Ass

I'm not real big on the 'social software' thing, but Stewart and the gang at Ludicorp have made such a cool, cool thing with Flickr. Join me, why don't you? The water's fine!



December 27, 2003

Lost In Translation

I watched Lost In Translation last night, and it made me feel all funny in my special place. Well, not really, but I can't figure out if it really was a Fine Filmic Experience or not.

DIRECTOR (in Japanese to the interpreter): The translation is very important, O.K.? The translation.

INTERPRETER: Yes, of course. I understand.

DIRECTOR: Mr. Bob-san. You are sitting quietly in your study. And then there is a bottle of Suntory whiskey on top of the table. You understand, right? With wholehearted feeling, slowly, look at the camera, tenderly, and as if you are meeting old friends, say the words. As if you are Bogie in "Casablanca," saying, "Cheers to you guys," Suntory time!

INTERPRETER: He wants you to turn, look in camera. O.K.?

BOB: That's all he said?

INTERPRETER: Yes, turn to camera.

BOB: Does he want me to, to turn from the right or turn from the left?

INTERPRETER (in very formal Japanese to the director): He has prepared and is ready. And he wants to know, when the camera rolls, would you prefer that he turn to the left, or would you prefer that he turn to the right? And that is the kind of thing he would like to know, if you don't mind.

DIRECTOR (very brusquely, and in much more colloquial Japanese): Either way is fine. That kind of thing doesn't matter. We don't have time, Bob-san, O.K.? You need to hurry. Raise the tension. Look at the camera. Slowly, with passion. It's passion that we want. Do you understand?

INTERPRETER (In English, to Bob): Right side. And, uh, with intensity.

BOB: Is that everything? It seemed like he said quite a bit more than that.

DIRECTOR: What you are talking about is not just whiskey, you know. Do you understand? It's like you are meeting old friends. Softly, tenderly. Gently. Let your feelings boil up. Tension is important!
Don't forget.

INTERPRETER (in English, to Bob): Like an old friend, and into the camera.

BOB: O.K.

DIRECTOR: You understand? You love whiskey. It's Suntory time! O.K.?

BOB: O.K.

DIRECTOR: O.K.? O.K., let's roll. Start.

BOB: For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.

DIRECTOR: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! (Then in a very male form of Japanese, like a father speaking to a wayward child) Don't try to fool me. Don't pretend you don't understand. Do you even understand what we are trying to do? Suntory is very exclusive. The sound of the words is important. It's an expensive drink. This is No. 1. Now do it again, and you have to feel that this is exclusive. O.K.? This is not an everyday whiskey you know.

INTERPRETER: Could you do it slower and... ?

DIRECTOR: With more ecstatic emotion.

INTERPRETER: More intensity.

DIRECTOR (in English): Suntory time! Roll.

BOB: For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.

DIRECTOR: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! God, I'm begging you.

What do you reckon? I'd like to hear from you, dear reader, what you thought about the movie. I know precisely jack sh-t about film, and place myself firmly in the 'I dunno much about art, but I knows what I likes' camp. Bill Murray, as everyone hastens to say, was pretty damn good, I thought, but was the movie all that, really, or just Japanophile pandering?

Inquiring wonderchickens want to know. Great movie, or just goodish?

December 6, 2003

Loads More Girls

An amusing screenshot from Google News yesterday. It amused me, at least.

OK, I'm easily amused. Piss off.

googlenews_s.gif

November 2, 2003

Not Responsible

Given that Koreans are inclined -- except in those areas of Seoul where us freakish, hairy, buttery barbarians are commonplace -- to stare unblinking, or point and giggle when spotting a non-Korean, and are also known on occasion (when they're pretty sure we're not in earshot) to make westerners-as-apes jokes, this made me giggle. I don't mind the stares as much as I used to, unless I'm having a bad day. I'll probably have to get used to it again, living out in the boonies as we do now.

Anyway, I am so getting this made into a T-shirt.

lessons learned.jpg

The writing is Japanese, not Korean, but that's OK. I'll get that added in later. [found at The Site Which Must Not Be Named]

October 22, 2003

Digital Revelation

My birthday present this year, back in early August, was meant to be a digital camera. I'd done my research and come to the conclusion that the best bang for the most minimal buck was the Canon Powershot A70.

Unfortunately, that was right around the time that I became unemployed again. This usually does not worry me in the least, but seeing as how I'm all adult and bewifed and all, we decided to defer the purchase of any non-necessary stuff until I got re-employed, which I recently have been.

Hooray for me, skyrockets in flight, doves are released into skies of deepest azure, the baby jesus laughs with glee, etcetera.

Point being, friends, that the camera was delivered yesterday, and it's been well over a year since I've bought anything for myself other than food and beer, relentlessly frugal as I am and downright cheap as She Who Must Be Obeyed can be, and I'm like a kid with this thing.

Now I don't know the first goddamn thing about Art and Photography and all that crap, I just want to use this amazing new technology to help me remember. As regular visitors to the 'bottle may know, I've had me some Amazing Adventures, mostly lubricated with whatever chemical stimulant easily came to hand. The problem with that, unfortunately, is that in my dotage I have rapidly fading memories, and rapidly fading images in my brain of who I did, and how what and when I did what I did, never mind why. And very few pictures to help the stories emerge, when I'm in a story-telling mood.

From regret at this deplorable synaptic deficit, therefore, I've resolved and now have the technology to make images, on the fly and without expense, to document for myself my life. My Life. Starting now! Not unlike Matt's new thang, or Shelley's new photo projects and pursuits (and hopefully career), I guess, but more artless, naturally, and less public. I plan to share little things that I particularly like, but it can be assumed that they may not have anything like the significance for you out there, my friends, that they do for me. Me and my brainfarts.

I am interested in becoming more skilled at seeing, and at capturing images that approximate what I see, but that will come with time and practice, I hope. I have little of either thus far. In the meantime, though, what fun!

Here are a few for you out of the dozens I took today. I don't know if they're 'good' or not, and I don't care. I like them and that's all that matters at this point, and I'm thrilled with the effortless alacrity of it all. I hope you like them too, if only to help you get a better mental image of the place whose portrait I've been trying to paint with words alone.


















August 1, 2003

Attitude Adjustment

f--k the Pixies.

July 19, 2003

Photos

Some nice photos of Korea here. That's all.

Crikey, it's like this is a weblog or something. Time to go on hiatus again, or not? Dunno.

June 23, 2003

DMZ (and Bondaeggi)

Since I am inexplicably uninterested in writing anything at the moment, here's some pics from the Deviant's digital camera (covet covet covet) of our trip to the DMZ, and of DV himself, about to chow down on some bondaeggi (silkworm larvae). Mmmm, insectalicious!

DVBondaeggi.jpg
DV about to eat a yummy bug. I made him do it. He was not terribly impressed.


GuardGuardGuard.jpg
Guards, guarding.

HaHaCan'tShootMe.jpg
Assuming the position - half hidden behind the wall to minimize the size of the target presented. Seems a bit silly to me.


IsThatAButtCheek.jpg
The guard post to which I managed to discreetly expose about two thirds of one butt-cheek while standing in the elevated concrete pagoda thing. Also the post from which the North Koreans apparently take pictures of tourists. Hope I didn't precipitate an international incident.

MilitaryDemarcationThingy.jpg
UN side : lovely crushed granite. DPRK side : dirt, with weeds. Amusing, darkly.

June 21, 2003

Now Isn't That Odd?

"New Zealand's TV3 has apologised after a graphic labeling United States President George W Bush a "professional fascist" flashed up during its prime time news."

This amuses me a great deal.


GWB - fascist oops.jpg

May 28, 2003

CBC Home Delivery

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is running a push-technology trial called CBC Home Delivery, incorporating content from across the range of CBC media outlets. Everything old is new again.

Unlike good old Pointcast (remember that?), this freaking rocks. I've just received the first dispatch, and it is amazing, and includes a long and well-done piece on North Korea. (Edit : And Peter Gzowsky interviewing Iggy Pop - two heroes for the price of one.) Give it a go! It started in February, and will unfortunately end, at least in the trial phase, in June, but it's worth it.

May 14, 2003

Those Wacky Japanese

They'd be so loveable if they weren't pure evil!

Wah!

I have no idea.

May 9, 2003

Rocks

You know, I keep wandering back to iconomy's site every once in a while, going 'Holy bugeyed monstertruck whiplash-inducing lemur crap, batman, this r0x0rs my b0x0rs!' every darn time and then forgetting to link thataway, and share the goodness.

Today, I have broken the cycle. I am proud, no, humbled to offer you this link to some Really Cool sh-t. Enjoy.

May 8, 2003

This Is A Test Of Korean

한국 말?

Edit : Woot! It worked for me, at least, on IE6. That was my very first MT-hack, and I'm pleased as hell that it seems to have worked. If you don't see some Korean up there (or, come to think of it, even if you do), please let me know which browser/version you're using.

Crap, now I have to worry about spelling in two languages, at least one of which I don't speak worth a damn.

Edit again : If you can't see the Korean characters above, can you also not see the Korean, Chinese and Japanese characters in this post at glome.org (from whence I have borrowed the UTF-8 encoding tricks to try and make this work)? Can you see them in one or the other, or both, or neither? Thanks for the help!

(Edit : I found this today, coincidentally - "an open community of bloggers who post in one or more languages about material discovered in one or more other languages.")

April 30, 2003

Deathwatch

I brought this up in a Metafilter thread recently, and was, if not shouted down, at least soundly spanked. While there have been 321 deaths thus far as a result of SARS, the World Health Organization has recently mentioned that there are over 3000 children dying every day from malaria at the moment, in Africa alone.

That's a lot of dead babies, friends.

I will hasten to note that I do think SARS is a worry, and is not solely a media-homunculus, shoved into the spotlight to terrify and entertain us until the next Big Scary Thing comes along. It is a Big Scary Thing in its own right, and will hopefully be contained before it becomes Captain Trips.

Nonetheless, I thought a few illustrations might help to put things into perspective. If we set SARS Patient Zero have occurred on February 12 of this year, these are the way the numbers look as of April 28 2003, according to the WHO. Each tiny black dot is a human life.

Deaths from SARS, February 12 2003 to present : 321

321 deaths

Let's have a look at some more happy fun numbers!

Continue reading "Deathwatch" »

April 11, 2003

Old Glory

via Anil Dash at the site that shall not be named, from here, this :

Get your Freedom Fries supersized, Emiricans!

God Allah bless Emirica.

[Edit : This image apparently came from b3ta. Thanks, MeFi.]

March 31, 2003

Visualization

Just in case you were having some difficulty visualizing the dollars involved in the production of Curious George Goes To War, this may help you understand how important Iraqi Freedom really is†.






†Not f--king very.

March 26, 2003

Time Out

I need a drink. A large one. Whose round is it?

..but not a white russian, preferably.


March 23, 2003

The Enemy

Shock and awe. You reckon these two enemy combatants are dead in a ditch yet?

March 7, 2003

Comedy Gold

toiletduk_tetrifixion_small.gif

Usenet September happens everywhere eventually, and although it's true the Something Awful forums are not as wildly creative as they used to be, by god, the goons can still occasionally pull off a thread that floors me. This is one of dozens of equally brilliant .gifs from a recent 'animate art' thread. The tenor of the forum is full-on Teen Geek, but the creativity is scorching, sometimes.

February 18, 2003

Leaving The Temple

Photographs in pairs by Stuart Isett.

These photographs are the result of 3 years of work in Asia and represent, in many ways, the discovery that I wouldn’t find spiritual fulfillment in Asia. When I arrived in Thailand in 1988, I saw a land of golden light and saffron robed monks–idealistic images of an idealized land. Although an atheist, I briefly thought I'd find God in Asia.

But like all idealized stereotypes, this image told only half the story because underlying this image was a society as deeply flawed and hypocritical as the one I left behind in America. My attempt to replace what I saw as flawed western world views with the spirituality of Thai Buddhism failed and my experiences in Asia have taught me not to use such simple models as an east/west dichotomy. Rather than look for oppositional models, I am attempting to understand the world through a more universal, critical eye.

[more...]

February 9, 2003

This Just In!

This just in! George Bush has declared emptybottle.org part of the Axis of Evil!

My mom would be so proud.

My mom would be so proud, even while she's wondering if I'm going to die up here at the DMZ for Bush's lies, too.

February 4, 2003

American Pictures

Occasionally I find stuff that I want to share, and this almost resembles a weblog for a minute or two.

Go look at some American pictures, if you're so inclined. I don't know a damn thing about photography, but I know what I like.

January 15, 2003

TP!

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night...

cornholio.jpg

I hate poetry.

October 11, 2002

Look! A Chickenman!

A typical day at work for your humble host...

chickenman.jpg

August 16, 2002

Dave who?

See, even Godzilla doesn't know what these asshat lawyers are talking about! And one thing my old grandpappy always told me was "Son, if Godzilla don't know what you're talkin' about, nobody will." Truer words have rarely been spoken.

July 31, 2002

Ghost in the Machine

Is BurningBird back? Sorta, kinda, and this makes me happy all out of proportion to what I might have expected. There's been a disconcerting Shelley-shaped hole in the neighbourhood of late. She asks "Just how real is all of this?" and I haven't really got an answer for that. The first thing that pops into my mind (the first thing being what I usually go with, as you're probably aware if you've been reading my crap for any length of time) : "f--k art, let's dance!"

(I don't know if Shelley is still working on ThreadNeedle, but if she is, here are some very cool blogthread visualization ideas that someone geekier and smarter than myself might like to investigate.

I've been thinking about and researching this a bit today after following David's pointer to Jon.

Have a look at PeopleGarden and WebFan. I find WebFan in particular very intuitive.

The projects at the MIT Social Media Group site are also interesting.

And Warren Sack's Conversation Map Interface for Very Large Scale Conversations is working again on the sample Usenet data, since the last time I checked. Amazing work. )

July 29, 2002

Brain Damage

Don't forget, kids! Sniffing markers destroys your brain!

July 26, 2002

Vodka Odyssey

I made this for an SA Thread, but then realized that it didn't have The Funny, and that it was also pretty technically deficient, mostly 'cause I'm about 5 beers into the evening.

So I'll show it to you folks instead! Woo! I'm havin' fun here!

Edit : After several more beers, I have posted it to the SA thread in question, which is already richly populated by dozens of remixes far superior. I am bracing myself for mockery most cutting.

July 25, 2002

Weblog : The Movie

The trailer for Weblog : The Movie has been archived here for your future viewing pleasure. Thank you for your kind patronage.

July 17, 2002

fcuk Off

Hey, my American friends, why not take the sage advice of my friend here...



I made this. If you steal it, please credit me. Not the old native guy, the other stuff. Well, not that stuff either, actually. Some underpaid governmnet employee made that...Ah, f--k it. Steal it if you want.

...and tell the bastards to go f--k themselves!

[Edit : Thanks to the random google-surfing psychos who crapped here, but I've closed the thread and deleted the bile, pathetically amusing as it was. Sue me.]

July 11, 2002

Existence

This late evening, reading AKMA, who was messing around with a lovely, famous phrase from the good Doctor W, made me want to make this. Just for fun. I like playing around with stuff.

existence.jpg


Edit : While I'm at it, I also took some words from one of his recent posts and made this for Rageboy today, for Gary's collage, because though I've never met the man, I love him, and it would seem that he's very unhappy, and I have no idea what else I could possibly do.

rb2.jpg

A Meeel-yun Dollars

This what a million US dollars (which is about 3 billion CA$) looks like :



a million dollars

[found at the site that dare not speak its name]

July 5, 2002

Unspeakable Coolness

Like Graham said : The coolness of this thing just blows me away. Here's a picture
(popup, 75k) of the web of blogs related to me, according to Google, 3 deep. Fascinating. You can double click on any of the other blogs, and the app will go and find the cloud of sites googly-related to it, in turn. One surprise would be the absence of Burningbird, but I seem to recall her excluding the Googlebot from her domains some time ago, so that makes sense after all. Interesting too, that my strongest connection through to a cloud of Metafilter bloggers is via jonmc's View From The Counter. I would have expected 9622.net to be on there...

This makes the propellor on my beanie whiz at a frightening speed.

July 3, 2002

Trippy

Via Mefi, [this is good] for blowing the carbon out of the old mental valves.

June 24, 2002

In Grease We Trust

1996_mcdonalds.jpg


mcsalute_lo.jpg

Pure. Tasty. f--king. Evil.

June 21, 2002

Sex Pit Help Me Jesus

sex pit help me jesus

Nothing to say today (except fishrush is trying to blow my mind, daddy-o!), so I'll show you this cool picture instead. Please excuse.

June 17, 2002

The Less Glamorous Side of The Cup

For Jonathon, because he enjoys the funny ones, and I thought this one was pretty darn funny :

sniff.jpg
Found, as usual, at the 'pile.

June 13, 2002

Eek!

In tribute to those Fighting Argentinians, who have been knocked out of the Cup, I give you this.

Eek!

Found at the 'pile.

June 8, 2002

Weapons of Moose Destruction

moose_dest_lo_small.jpg

Well, it was funny when it was in my brain.

June 5, 2002

The Power Of Chicken Compels You!

Whatever, dude.

May 29, 2002

It's Official : I'm outta ideas.

belushi_big_chicken_lo.jpg

Someone stick a fork in my ass and turn me over, I'm done.

May 26, 2002

"That Boy's About As Sharp As A Bowling Ball"

I got to straighten this boy out! [Audio]
Yes, I've got a little too much time on my hands at the moment.

May 22, 2002

It Just Feels Right, Baby

Cheesily riffing on the erudititudinosity and linkeriffomafication of Tom's recent post, I give you this darn-near equally-recent popular image (which I did not make) found at the Site Which Must Not Be Named.

Heh.

Bush Help.jpg

Edit : I have discovered that this image originally came from the SomethingAwful forums. SA rocks. Or is that San Dimas Football? sh-t, I dunno. But the bad, bad man who posted it to Filepile didn't credit it. Apologies.

May 19, 2002

Super Soaker!

burroughssupersoaker_lo.jpg
I just made this one for the hell of it. I'm having a few delightful cocktails, Mefi's down, I'm 'pilin, yadda yaddaladdayo... The original's been my desktop for the last week or so, and Old Bull Lee is one of my icons.

Also, I've gotta think it'd be fun having a watergun fight with Old Bill. After he'd been into the dexedrine, he'd kick your ass. [hi-res (popup)]

May 14, 2002

Big Buddha

BigBuddha.jpg

One of the few non-tourist-pose pics from our recent trip to Soraksan. That's a big Buddha! The black slates are prayers...for a small fee, you can go to the little booth that sits over on the Buddha's right, and have them write up the prayer of your choice - for health, wealth, for your kids, or whatever - which you can then place on the pile, and make an offering.

I'll make a gallery with some others later today, perhaps...

May 12, 2002

CrankBunny touched me in my bad place

I'm not entirely sure what's going on here, but I think I like it.

I always find the visceral hatred some web-purist types seem to harbour for Flash puzzling, particularly when wacky folk can use it to make trippy stuff like Crankbunny. Each thing in its proper place. Kumbaya, my lord. Something like that.

May 5, 2002

Bridge

I just love this image (276k), and I'm not sure why, exactly. I found it a while ago at Fark, I think, and I don't know what to do with it, other than show it to you.

April 24, 2002