Pure. Tasty. f–king. Evil.
I don’t know why I thought this was so funny, but I’m tellin’ ya, I almost peed myself.
For Jonathon, because he enjoys the funny ones, and I thought this one was pretty darn funny :
Well, it was funny when it was in my brain.
Via MeFi, of course, this gentleman was turned down in his application for Military Security clearance because of his slighty excessive fondness for our canine pals :
Applicant–a 25-year old employee of a defense contractor–seeks access to classified information.
The allegations of the SOR revolve around Applicant’s zoophilia–his sexual attraction to animals and his sexual activity with dogs from approximately 1987 to June 1996. On 13 August 1998, Applicant described his zoophilia to a special agent of the Defense Security Service (DSS)(Item 5):
I would like to take this opportunity to explain that I am a zoophile, sexually attracted to animals. I fantasize about sexual activities with anthropomorphic (cartoon character types) animals, friendly big cat like a lion, any medium to large size dog, horses, cows, etc., but to actually engage the animal must be a dog. The reason I state it must be a dog because a dog is the only animal who has the closest personality to a human being.”
I don’t really know what to say about this. I’d like to say “Homo sum; nihil humani a me alienum puto,” but this just pushes the envelope a little too much for me, ya know?
I’m not American, but I still find it interesting, if pointless, to observe that my surname (that is, my secret identity when I’m not fighting crime) was ranked #5662 in the last census there. The name I was born with, which was different, for reasons I can’t be bothered going into at the moment, is ranked #2666.
‘Wonder’, however, was ranked 48,816th. That’s cool.
It would seem that no-one in America has the surname ‘Chicken’. Go figure.
‘Kim’, number one with a bullet here in Korea, is only #233 in the States. Korean surnames are in and of themselves an interesting study. There are only about 270 last names in Korea, but the five most common – Kim, Lee (variously romanized as Yi or Rhee (actually pronouced ‘Ee’)), Park (Pak, Bak), Choi (Choe, Chae), and Chong (Jong, Jung, Chung) – belong to more than 50 percent of the population. Kims make up 22 percent of the population, or about 10 million people, and the Lees (Rhees, Yis) comprise about 14 percent.
America’s number one? ‘Smith’, of course. Why is it that I’ve only met one person named ‘Smith’ in my entire life? And further, why the heck would that name be so common? There couldn’t have been that many blacksmiths around, back in Ye Olde Oldentymes…
Someone stick a fork in my ass and turn me over, I’m done.