So a redesign is nigh!
S to the izzo, dub to the chicken. Word.
Mr. Wonder Chicken
I wanted to let you know that the Organization for the Advancement of Featherless Chickens (OAFC – affectionately referred to as “oh fuck”) has you under survellience.
It would seem that you have usurped their trademark – Wonder Chicken – before they had a chance to register said trademark.
The fact that they thought up the trademark after viewing your weblog is incidental to the cause of corporate empowerment. They are a Flock, you are a Lone Bird, clucking into the wildnerness.
Wherever you go, they will follow. You can recognize OAFC members by the fact that they wear no natural products whatsoever. Even their underwear is synthetic, so they tend to walk bowlegged and have expressions of discomfort on their faces.
If you see anyone matching this description, speaking with a mid-west accent, you can easily avoid them by taking one of the following steps:
a) Spit on them. Spit is natural substance, and the resulting trauma will so incompacitate them that you can get away.
b) Start humming “Oops! I did it again”. They will be so captivated by the tune that they’ll close their eyes, and you can sneak away while they’re in the midst of their fantasies.
c) Sew an American flag to the seat of all your clothes. OFAC members can’t resist kissing the American flag, and when bend over to kiss your butt, fart in their face. Walk away as they lay on the sidewalk in a dead faint.
Hopefully you will act on this friendly advice – before it’s too late.
Thank you, O mystery benefactor!
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