Not that this won’t be everywhere soon, or isn’t already for all I f–king know, as I really don’t do terribly well at the mental-smooth-muscle-flexing, but I WANT SOME†.
† This should not be taken to indicate that I have any tendency or desire to, or history of or plans to, experiment with medications, legal or otherwise. I deny something similar to that, categorically. [Mr. Kissinger? Steve Felton, Sesame Street Gazette. If you could be any animal…] I deny engineering the bombings of small east Asian countries. I deny that, categorically.
What the hell was I talking about?


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  1. There are going to be some really tedious nights caused by inadvisable Viagra-Provigil cocktails.
    “So, uh, _now_ what do you want to do?”
    “Keep that stupid think away from me. I’m sore. I want to go to sleep.”
    “But there’s nothing on TV. I’m bored with this book. I can’t eat or drink another damned thing. Everything is closed. I can’t go anywhere anyway ’cause I’m poking out of my shorts. And I CAN’T FUCKING CLOSE MY EYES! ARRRRGHH!”

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