Have you ever been caught out in the middle of the night in a park with a runny bum and a convulsing bowel, had to squat and squirt like a beast behind a bush somewhere, and in lieu of paper or leaves or pretty much anything that could be profitably employed for the wiping of the soiled starfish, come up with the brilliant idea of dragging your bum along the dewy grass a bit (learned from the childhood observation of your dog ‘Boomer’ when he had worms) to clean off any klingons?
No, me neither. I was just checking.

Random Silliness

Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. I can not wait to work the term “soiled starfish” into a conversation now.

  2. I prefer “rusty red ring.”

  3. Wow, MY dog was named Boomer, too! “soiled starfish” is an excellent term; I’m partial to “browneye” myself. Makes me smile every time I hear Van Morrison.

  4. Thanks, Stav, for making me laugh out loud.
    Hadn’t heard of “soiled starfish” but in Australia we usually refer to it as a “freckle”, a “date”, or a “coit”.
    A quick Google search revealed a couple of goodies: “sheriff’s badge” and “tea-towel holder”.

  5. Oh Gawd! And there goes my breakfast.

  6. Just wipe with your underwear, discard the underwear, and hope that nothing gets caught in your zipper before you can make it home to acquire another pair. Otherwise, much like Boomer, you’re going to get ass-worms.

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