Questions of Poop

Posted on Aug 21, 2002 in Random Silliness | 6 comments

Have you ever been caught out in the middle of the night in a park with a runny bum and a convulsing bowel, had to squat and squirt like a beast behind a bush somewhere, and in lieu of paper or leaves or pretty much anything that could be profitably employed for the wiping of the soiled starfish, come up with the brilliant idea of dragging your bum along the dewy grass a bit (learned from the childhood observation of your dog ‘Boomer’ when he had worms) to clean off any klingons?
No, me neither. I was just checking.

6 Comments

  1. 21-08-2002
    adam says:

    I can not wait to work the term “soiled starfish” into a conversation now.

  2. 21-08-2002
    Coldchef says:

    I prefer “rusty red ring.”

  3. 21-08-2002
    cory says:

    Wow, MY dog was named Boomer, too! “soiled starfish” is an excellent term; I’m partial to “browneye” myself. Makes me smile every time I hear Van Morrison.

  4. 21-08-2002
    Jonathon Delacour says:

    Thanks, Stav, for making me laugh out loud.
    Hadn’t heard of “soiled starfish” but in Australia we usually refer to it as a “freckle”, a “date”, or a “coit”.
    A quick Google search revealed a couple of goodies: “sheriff’s badge” and “tea-towel holder”.

  5. 21-08-2002
    Anita says:

    Oh Gawd! And there goes my breakfast.

  6. 22-08-2002
    John says:

    Just wipe with your underwear, discard the underwear, and hope that nothing gets caught in your zipper before you can make it home to acquire another pair. Otherwise, much like Boomer, you’re going to get ass-worms.