Wired, wired.

I notice [via the impeccable Acts of Volition] that Wired has started putting the entire content of the print edition up on the web. This is happy news for me, as I can’t buy the print edition here in Korea, and even though it cost me more than a 12-pack of Hahn Premium to buy when I lived in Australia, I nonetheless did so regularly, and have been missing it. Not sure if the content divorced from the slippery-paged, sensuous tangibleness of it will make me as happy, as I won’t be able to read it in bed when I have a hangover, but it’s nice to know that it’s at least there. A dry hump is better than no hump at all, nicht wahr?

Jem!

Through the last few years of my university career, I spent the bulk of my time with a group of (for the most part) hard-drinking, (for the most part) punk-rock proto-grrrls, who took the bumptious clay that was this boozy small-town-boy-gone-bad and molded him into Professor Bosco T. Matrix, the Liver That Walked Like a Man. Much fun was had by all, and the usual sex, drugs, rock and roll, wacky hijinx and adventures ensued, as these things do.
One of the appealingly quirky things about this gaggle of gals was their enjoyment of a truly goofy 80’s cartoon called Jem. I was forced to sit through many episodes of this, sometimes even while sober, and it was a minor bane of my existence. I hadn’t actually thought about it in perhaps a decade, until Lia mentioned it recently, and in the process led me to Fush (who is a Very Amusing Young Man).
Downside to all this pleasant linky-dinky and reminiscence? I now have the Jem theme running through my mind, and I swear, someone is going to pay.
“Jem! is truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous…”

[This is bad][This might be offensive]

The ‘Jackhammer Jesus’ dildo. Part of the line of quality products that also includes the ‘Buddha’s Delight’, just to be equal-opportunity offensive, I guess.
I would be interested to talk to someone who would actually want to use one of these puppies. I’m a curious fella, though. Some might say too curious. Some others might say some other things, unpleasant things, things that are just plain mean, but when I stick my fingers in my ears and repeat “I can’t hear you!”, I find I am able to thwart their vicious attacks.
This is a Valuable Strategy, and I encourage you to use it in your very own Personal Life. Checks or money orders to the usual place.

I had lunch here yesterday.

How weird is this new linked-up world we live in? (Answer : uh, pretty a lot, Mr Chicken!) This place is a nondescript little second-floor barbecued pork restaurant in Sanbon, way out in the ‘burbs of Seoul, the place I mentioned a couple of posts ago when I said we were having lunch and yadda yadda.
I just this minute remembered the URL on the window and how funny I thought ‘iporky.com’ was…

Adultery

So we’re having lunch, and one of my Canadian co-workers, who has a tendency to talk more than his fair share of sh-t, is yammering on about how half of the women in Korean prisons are there for adultery. I’m about to call ‘bullsh-t’ when one of our Korean colleagues chimes in and verifies what he’s saying. The laws still regard adultery as a jailable offence, but the only people being prosecuted, for most part, are women.
Apparently it’s commonplace, when a wife in this country is discovered to be cuckolding a husband, for said husband to press charges, and for the wife to be prosecuted and sent to jail. This in a place where there is an omnipresent, enormous, but largely invisible sex industry, and where men are almost expected to take a mistress when they reach that magic socio-economic stratum where simple whores are no longer de riguer. Or at least not in front of the guys.
I just start getting a handle on this place, and then something comes along to make me realize how deeply I don’t get it.

The Original Goatse

Pan copulating with a goat – Herculaneum, 1st century B.C.
Why have I decided to show you this picture?

pan.jpg

Not sure, really. But it is quite jarring, in a potentially useful way, perhaps, innit? Unexpected, intense images like this always get my brain ticking over, at least.
[Edit : Comments are closed. Thanks for playing, googlenauts.]

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch

Almost 70 per cent of Canadians believe their federal and provincial political systems are corrupt, suggests a recent opinion poll.
Sixty-nine per cent of the 1,500 respondents in the Leger Marketing survey said the federal system was highly or somewhat corrupt, compared with 26 per cent who thought it was not very corrupt or not at all corrupt.
{snip}
”The Canadian public have become over the last 20 years or so, so bovine. They just see this and shrug. They expect it. They expect to be screwed,” said Morrison, who left Parliament because he felt he was wasting his time, and because he didn’t like the fact some people assumed he was corrupt simply because he was in politics.
”Even politicians who are straight and believe in representing their constituents, they give up after awhile. Because nobody seems to care,” Morrison said.

This is the sort of thing that makes me wonder what the hell the bastards who ‘run’ the country are doing to my homeland. I haven’t been back there in more than 4 years now, and although I do sometimes entertain fantasies of going back permanently and hiding in a nice little cabin near a stream, nestled amongst fragrant pines, it’s probably not going to happen anytime soon, if at all, unless you folks buy a lot of Cafe Press crap.
But that doesn’t stop me feeling a wave of despair when I hear the latest statistic, or the newest piece of bad news about how Canada is coming more with each passing year to resemble the Cesspool to the South. I pray that it’s not true, but I suspect that it’s too late.

Mulholland Drive

Blue Velvet - huffer.jpg
I just watched Mulholland Drive, and David Lynch has once again pleasantly nobbled my brain. Recently re-read David Foster Wallace’s piece on Lynch from his anthology “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again”, which got me all het up about Lynch again. Eraserhead and Blue Velvet were big faves of that ol’ gang of mine, back in my university days, but I still haven’t seen Twin Peaks or Lost Highway.

Just wanted to mention that this thread at Metafilter is of great assistance if you’re trying to puzzle out exactly what the hell was going on in the movie…

Real or Parody?

You decide.

The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (MacOS X) is called… Darwin! That’s right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don’t advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an “Open Source” license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, “lickable” buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

The look on the face of the ‘baby Jesus’ here is truly classic.
Also : ‘Man and dinosaur lived together peacefully around 2000 BC.’
Update : Ah crap. This link is #1 in the Daypoop Top Forty today. I am now officially Not Worth Reading.

Balloon Hats For Joy

“In 1996, Addi Somekh and Charlie Eckert began traveling to different places in the world to make balloon hats for people and take photos of them. The goal was to show people all over the world laughing and having fun, and to emphasize the fact that all human beings are born with the ability to experience joy. In total, they visited 34 countries and have over 10,000 pictures.”
Yes! Dammit, yes! I love these guys.
[via Everlasting Blort]

Those Wacky Kids

Learn something every day : the number 420 is freighted with significance for dope smokers.
I’ve always been aware of pervasive networks of signals and signs, not conspiracies or the illuminati or anything of the kind, mind you, just a background hum of information being passed between people who know how to decode that information, on the streets and in the bars, everywhere. Communication indecipherable, silent, to those who don’t know of its existence. These things have always fascinated me, I think because I’ve always enjoyed experimenting with personas, talking to people from other tribes and taking on protective colouring that exploits those secret signs and passwords. When someone thinks you share at least some elements of the secret language of their tribe, they open up to you in a way they cannot do when you’re the outsider. It’s a way to learn more about people, and something I’ve always instinctively done.
This 420 stuff is an example of that context-hijacking dialogue that goes on constantly under the noses of the uninitiated. Fascinating stuff.

Capitalism Gone Mad!

I’m mercifully free of hangovers lately, as I’m on some Chinese herbal medicine, and I’m not supposed to drink while taking it. This is good, for a change of pace, and I find my brain is ticking over quite nicely.
Spent a couple hours today designing a few logos and putting up a Cafe Press shop. Why the hell not, eh? I noticed Oliver’s recent post about having one, and figured I might as well give it a blast.
The three logos are here, here, and here (large images, popups). The shop is here. I make a buck from each item sold. Support the wonderchicken! Buy neat stuff!
Or not, I don’t really mind too much…

Ad Absurdum

This latest semi-coherent rambling comes in response to the comments at BurningBird’s place here, and some comments made by AKMA here. I apologize if it is facile – I just wanted to get some partly-formed ideas off my chest.
In the comments at ‘Bird’s place, Mike Golby mentions something about Mike Sanders redubbing ‘warbloggers’ ‘lifebloggers’. I couldn’t find any reference to this phrase at Mike Sanders’ blog, so I won’t pursue the dissonance of that equivalence (*ting* the tiny echoes of the phrase ‘moral equivalence’ might now be playing about your mental shell-likes) any further. It may have just been a brainfart on Mike Golby’s part. (But if a warblogger is somehow a ‘lifeblogger’, then mark me down as a deathblogger. Tangentially, does anyone else notice the slow shift of the meaning of the neologism ‘warblogger’ to mean a blogger who supports and cheerleads military killing, by someone or anyone, rather than just someone whose main topic of blogging is things to do with the current American War on Terra? Or maybe that’s just me…)
I don’t say ‘deathblogger’ simply to be contrarian, though such is my tendency. I regard death as less of a Nemesis than many, for reasons stemming from experiences in my young life rather than religious faith, and I do think that some large component of the irrational, deeply-felt response people have to things like the current sh-tstorm over in the eastern mediterranean comes directly from a horror and fear of Death. Isn’t that odd?
Apologies to AKMA may be in order, but : if these people, in the middle east and Ireland and elsewhere, who are killing one another as much because of their religious beliefs as mundane matters of territory and bloody revenge, if they are indeed so devout…well, it strikes me then that their respective religions teach them that their bloodthirsty righteousness will be rewarded in an afterlife of some kind, no?
AKMA says :

..those who adhere to the Way of Jesus have been not just advised, but commanded not to kill–not even to contemplate killing (nor even losing one’s temper at another); those who adhere to the Torah have the prophets’ word that the Eternal summons us to lives of justice and peace, where nation no longer lifts up sword against nation.

This may indeed be the case, but it seems to me in practice that the ‘thou shalt not kill’ edict has often been, and still is relaxed, by the man (and woman) on the street, is it not, when it comes to killing in the name of God? Leaders both religious and secular invoke the name of whichever almighty they imagine to be their benefactor, to strike down the enemy, to lend strength to their killers out on the bloody plain. The people who listen to these leaders take up their guns and cudgels secure in the knowledge that smashing the skulls of their enemies or putting bullets through their hearts are actions mandated and approved by their deity and his representatives on Earth. We’re talking about the reality of belief here, not the ideal. I assume this is somehow mystically reconciled in their minds with the ‘God is Love’ mantra of more peaceful times – call it Tough Love, I guess.
I say this not to ridicule Christian belief. I find the metaphors embedded in the faith, as in others, to be rich and rewarding. Though countless lives have been lost in the name of God and Christ, Mohammed and Allah, countless deeds of mercy and kindness have been performed, as well.
But back to the Fear of Death. I’ve always thought it odd, and it’s always been one of the things that I couldn’t really get my head around, when it came to Christianity : it seems hard for a devout Christian to justify anything other than feelings of joy when a presumably heaven-bound relative makes the Big Swan Dive into the abyss. There’s self-pity, of course, or fear for a more lonely, or poorer, future here amongst the living. These grief-triggers I understand. But I have a little difficulty understanding grief unleavened with what should be happiness for the deceased, for the spirit drawn unto the bosom of the Lord, among the devout.
The ritual wailing and moaning, the tearing out of hair, the sackcloth and ashes that some cultures indulge in as a ritual response to death : these, I understand, too, as catharsis, as closure. Ritual response to events of great magnitude in our lives help us to cope with those events without thinking too much about them, and help to incorporate those events in the fabric of our community.
I catch a scent of the ritual response to death in the response to the killing in the Middle East at the moment.
There is, as always, division into camps amongst the not-very-clever : Side A is right! No, you bastard, Side B is right! Amongst others, there is a weary acceptance that both warring sides are right, and amongst a subgroup of those, an awareness that both sides are also equally wrong. But even within this camp, there are those who call for warfare and those who call for ‘peace’. There are also a large number who, through laziness or bodhisattva-like equanimity, through utter misanthropy or through dirt-stick-stone stupidity, via ‘good’ or ‘evil’ intention, modulate their outrage, or accept what is as inevitable and thus good.
There are some who believe that the raging, naked ape in us will keep the tribes at each other’s throats for a good long time, if not until the last of our species stands over the lifeless body of the unlucky penultimate one, triumphant. There are some who would welcome ‘peace’, who would work for it each day of their lives, who are also certain that it is a chimera.
There are those who see the arguments among the observers as fractal, self-similar meta-examples of the bloodletting amongst the combatants, and grow more pessimistic about there ever being an end to warfare.
The question is this, perhaps : whether a life spent working for this idea of ‘peace’, always aware that such a goal may never be reached, in one’s own lifetime or beyond, is a life well-spent.

Funny?

I remembered this Emo Phillips joke the other day, which was the only thing that he’s ever done that amused me, and it fit in fairly well with my thoughts today, so I made a little Flash thing here. It sucks a bit, but I hope you find it amusing.