Wide Open

July 24, 2002 / / 3 Comments
Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper – Wide Open

I’m feelin’ wide open every day
I’m feelin’ wide open every which a-way
Got something down inside of me
It just won’t let me be
Got something down inside of me
and it’s a-talkin’ to me..
Said John Calvin he’s long-dead
we gotta get that in our heads
we ain’t got nothin’ to fear
‘cept for runnin’ out, outta beer
Oh the time is now
the day has come
there are no rules
yeah only fun
you know what it is we gotta do
Don’t give up before you’ve tried
Don’t be afraid, yeah afraid to die
We ain’t got nothin’ to lose
Fear is our enemy
Takin’ the life outta you and me
Everybody’s in charge
we don’t need to wait
Robert, Tim and Ishmael
Man them dude’s great
Can’t let ’em have all the fun
Get up and go, wake up and run
I am a-live!
Said John Calvin is long-dead
we gotta get that in our heads
Get that jealousy outta here
We ain’t got nothin’ to fear…
I gotta go
We don’t need no more rules
Rules and regulations
We don’t need cops, cops and spies
and all that sensation
We need freedom
We need freedom
We need freedom in the USA
Reinvent the USA
Every which a-way.
I’m out in Pennsylvania county
on Highway 7-1-8
Middle of a cornfield
No, I’m not too late
There’s about thirteen
Thirteen ’67 Chevy Malibus
In a circle, in the cornfield
with their headlights on…
And I can feel it.
I can feel!
And everybody’s dancin in the headlights
Dancin’ in the headlights
And off in the distance you can hear ’em sing…
I’m feelin’ wide open
I’m feelin’ wide open
I’m feelin’ wide open
I’m goin’ wide open
[30 second sample]

The album’s out of print, you can download it here.

fcuk Off

July 17, 2002 / / No Comments

Hey, my American friends, why not take the sage advice of my friend here…

I made this. If you steal it, please credit me. Not the old native guy, the other stuff. Well, not that stuff either, actually. Some underpaid governmnet employee made that...Ah, f--k it. Steal it if you want.

…and tell the bastards to go f–k themselves!
[Edit : Thanks to the random google-surfing psychos who crapped here, but I’ve closed the thread and deleted the bile, pathetically amusing as it was. Sue me.]

"Son, he said…"

April 29, 2002 / / No Comments
“Son,” he said without preamble, “never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They’re the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They’re usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they’re a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how how to survive himself. It’s damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he’s heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl.”
Then he paused for a long minute and added, “And, son, never trust a drunk except when he’s on his knees.”
– James Crumley, The Wrong Case.

[via MeFi]

FunkyTown

March 27, 2002 / / No Comments

Well, I talk about it,
Talk about it,
Talk about it,
Talk about it,
Talk about, talk about,
Talk about movin,
Gotta move on.
Gotta move on.
Gotta move on.
Won’t you take me to
Funkytown.
Won’t you take me to
Funkytown.
Won’t you take me to
Funkytown.
Won’t you take me to
Funkytown.
(Repeat)

Wha?

September 22, 2001 / / No Comments

I am offering this medium-size phallooter. Barely used, one owner. Free, or near offer.
8^>^>^>^>^>
But wait, there’s more! The sweat off my balls! The hard-earned smegmatic cheeseplate pneumatic pumperbots! The lyrical sex-scenes in the High High Grain fields! The pell-mell running to avoid the Bad Guys! More than one or two accidental direct clitoral stimuli! A field day for the less than clever! Call Now!
Wha? Ah hell, who turned out the lights?

Beery inspiration

August 15, 2001 / / No Comments

Dateline Sydney : Beery inspiration strikes as I wander over to Evhead to see what’s there – I’m on the cusp of one of those (more frequent for me than is the usual, but nonetheless too-few and too-far-between) times when my life is about to transform utterly, and hell, maybe I oughta blog it. For me, for the world at large, for the hell of it.
After almost three years in Sydney, we’re off to Korea again. Pour yourself a drink, lean in close, and I’ll tell you all about it.
Disclaimer : Any inconsistency in tone that may be detected from time to time is almost certainly due to the effects of alcohol consumption.