…
….
This is a Test. This is only a Test.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.
Poop. The upgrade to MT 2.2 has borked my categories a bit, no doubt due to something stupid I did. Please stand by.
Edit : I’m reflagging entries with categories by hand. This is going to take longer than I thought.
Treasure
Koan :
A monk asked Nansen : “Is there a teaching no master ever taught before?”
Nansen said : “Yes, there is.”
“What is it?” asked the monk.
Nansen replied : “It is not mind, it is not Buddha, it is not things.”
Mumon’s Commentary :
Old Nansen gave away his treasure words. He must have been greatly upset.
Mumon’s Poem :
Nansen was too kind and lost his treasure.
Truly, words have no power.
Even though the mountain becomes the sea,
Words cannot open another’s mind.
Ftagn!
Anybody else out there have recurring dreams about Godzilla? I’m askin’…
In Grease We Trust
Pure. Tasty. f–king. Evil.
Sex Pit Help Me Jesus
Nothing to say today (except fishrush is trying to blow my mind, daddy-o!), so I’ll show you this cool picture instead. Please excuse.
Everybody knows
I don’t know why I thought this was so funny, but I’m tellin’ ya, I almost peed myself.
The Less Glamorous Side of The Cup
For Jonathon, because he enjoys the funny ones, and I thought this one was pretty darn funny :
Found, as usual, at the ‘pile.
Eek!
In tribute to those Fighting Argentinians, who have been knocked out of the Cup, I give you this.
Found at the ‘pile.
Found at the ‘pile.
Weapons of Moose Destruction
Well, it was funny when it was in my brain.
No security clearance for you, dogfcuker!
Via MeFi, of course, this gentleman was turned down in his application for Military Security clearance because of his slighty excessive fondness for our canine pals :
“Applicant admitted the factual allegations of the SOR; accordingly, I incorporate Applicant’s admissions as findings of fact.
Applicant–a 25-year old employee of a defense contractor–seeks access to classified information.
The allegations of the SOR revolve around Applicant’s zoophilia–his sexual attraction to animals and his sexual activity with dogs from approximately 1987 to June 1996. On 13 August 1998, Applicant described his zoophilia to a special agent of the Defense Security Service (DSS)(Item 5):
I would like to take this opportunity to explain that I am a zoophile, sexually attracted to animals. I fantasize about sexual activities with anthropomorphic (cartoon character types) animals, friendly big cat like a lion, any medium to large size dog, horses, cows, etc., but to actually engage the animal must be a dog. The reason I state it must be a dog because a dog is the only animal who has the closest personality to a human being.”
Applicant–a 25-year old employee of a defense contractor–seeks access to classified information.
The allegations of the SOR revolve around Applicant’s zoophilia–his sexual attraction to animals and his sexual activity with dogs from approximately 1987 to June 1996. On 13 August 1998, Applicant described his zoophilia to a special agent of the Defense Security Service (DSS)(Item 5):
I would like to take this opportunity to explain that I am a zoophile, sexually attracted to animals. I fantasize about sexual activities with anthropomorphic (cartoon character types) animals, friendly big cat like a lion, any medium to large size dog, horses, cows, etc., but to actually engage the animal must be a dog. The reason I state it must be a dog because a dog is the only animal who has the closest personality to a human being.”
I don’t really know what to say about this. I’d like to say “Homo sum; nihil humani a me alienum puto,” but this just pushes the envelope a little too much for me, ya know?
Dylsexic Accuntants
Some amusing if sporadically sophomoric Google searches, via NTK :
dylsexia
accuntability
type_Document_Title_here
Welcome to Adobe GoLive
“Do not reveal to Non HOLLi”
“please delete this slide”
Google as ad-hoc IQ test.
Rank
I’m not American, but I still find it interesting, if pointless, to observe that my surname (that is, my secret identity when I’m not fighting crime) was ranked #5662 in the last census there. The name I was born with, which was different, for reasons I can’t be bothered going into at the moment, is ranked #2666.
‘Wonder’, however, was ranked 48,816th. That’s cool.
It would seem that no-one in America has the surname ‘Chicken’. Go figure.
‘Kim’, number one with a bullet here in Korea, is only #233 in the States. Korean surnames are in and of themselves an interesting study. There are only about 270 last names in Korea, but the five most common – Kim, Lee (variously romanized as Yi or Rhee (actually pronouced ‘Ee’)), Park (Pak, Bak), Choi (Choe, Chae), and Chong (Jong, Jung, Chung) – belong to more than 50 percent of the population. Kims make up 22 percent of the population, or about 10 million people, and the Lees (Rhees, Yis) comprise about 14 percent.
America’s number one? ‘Smith’, of course. Why is it that I’ve only met one person named ‘Smith’ in my entire life? And further, why the heck would that name be so common? There couldn’t have been that many blacksmiths around, back in Ye Olde Oldentymes…
It's Official : I'm outta ideas.
Someone stick a fork in my ass and turn me over, I’m done.
"That Boy's About As Sharp As A Bowling Ball"
Yes, I’ve got a little too much time on my hands at the moment.
It Just Feels Right, Baby
Cheesily riffing on the erudititudinosity and linkeriffomafication of Tom’s recent post, I give you this darn-near equally-recent popular image (which I did not make) found at the Site Which Must Not Be Named.
Heh.
Edit : I have discovered that this image originally came from the SomethingAwful forums. SA rocks. Or is that San Dimas Football? sh-t, I dunno. But the bad, bad man who posted it to Filepile didn’t credit it. Apologies.
Super Soaker!
I just made this one for the hell of it. I’m having a few delightful cocktails, Mefi’s down, I’m ‘pilin, yadda yaddaladdayo… The original’s been my desktop for the last week or so, and Old Bull Lee is one of my icons.
Also, I’ve gotta think it’d be fun having a watergun fight with Old Bill. After he’d been into the dexedrine, he’d kick your ass. [hi-res (popup)]
That's a lot of gas.
Returning to the ovine digestion theme of earlier in the week : “The 45 million sheep and 10 million cattle in New Zealand make for a lot of burped methaneâabout 90 percent of that country’s methane emissions, according to government figures.”