Bummed

I am feeling gigantically bummed today, left out of all the fun with CD swaps and MeFi/MonkeyMeets and such. What the f–k am I doing here in Korea, living my entire social life through a keyboard? Sometimes I just don’t know.
Somebody want to give me a job sweeping floors or something, somewhere other than here? This place is starting to get to me…

Board Meeting

I found this on the site that dare not speak it’s name. It’s funny.

A C / D C : THE BOARD MEETING
BY JOHN KENYON
– – – –
Angus: Well then, I see that everyone is here. Shall we get started?
Brian: Might we call the roll, at least for the sake of the minutes?
Angus: Good point. Malcolm?
Malcolm: Oh, right, right. I’m secretary this fiscal year, aren’t I? All right, then. Angus Young?
Angus: Present.
Malcolm: Brian Johnson?
Brian: Present.
Malcolm: Phil Rudd?
Phil: Here.
Malcolm: Cliff Williams?
Cliff: Present.
Angus: Thank you, Malcolm. Now, as I’m sure you know from reading the memo e-mailed last Tuesday, we’re meeting to begin conceiving our next album. Sales of our latest, Stiff Upper Lip, have tailed off, and tour revenue will only sustain the corporation through the end of fiscal 2002. Our back catalog, interview discs, live collections, and the box set helped the bottom line, but these are signs of a brand treading water. We need new product to assure continued growth through fiscal 2003.
Malcolm: All right, then. Should we review and approve minutes from the last meeting or jump ahead to item no. 4, “Brainstorming new song titles.”
Angus: Let’s not mess with Robert’s Rules this once. Has everyone had a chance to review the minutes?
All: Yes.
Angus: Then if there’s no further discussion, can I get a motion to approve and file said minutes?
Phil: So moved.
Brian: Second.
Malcolm: We can do this on voice vote. All in favor?
All: Aye.
Angus: Should we move on?
Brian: Can we break for a few minutes? I need to check with the nanny to see that the kids got to school.
Angus: Okay by me. Any objections?
All: No.
[10 minute recess]
Angus: Now remember, the only bad idea is one that isn’t shared. Remember Ballbreaker? I wouldn’t have believed we had never used that album title, but there it was 1995 and it was fresh as ever. Or “You Can’t Stop Rock ‘n’ Roll”? That’s a classic title, undiscovered until our last album.
Brian: That was a nice one, Phil.
Phil: Thanks.
Angus: All right. Don’t be shy; just throw them out there.
Brian: Well, I’ve been toying with something called “Flirt in a Skirt.”
Phil: I like it! That’s a keeper.
Cliff: How about “Snowball?”
Brian: That’s a good one, but we already went in that direction with “Snowballed” from For Those About to Rock.
Cliff: I should have known it was too good to be true.
Brian: That’s a good reminder to do our homework before we meet.
Angus: What do you guys think of “Pole Position”?
Brian: That I can work with.
Angus: Malcolm, what are you giggling about? Do you want to share it with the group?
Malcolm: Yeah. “Put Your Glove on My Love.”
Phil: Boys, we might as well pack up and go home. We’re not going to do better than that.
Cliff: That is a moneymaker.
Angus: Malcolm, this may be inappropriate, but I’m going to hug you.
[Rustling sound on tape]
Angus (to Malcolm): I seem to have wrinkled your coat. I’ll pay for the dry cleaning. (To the group) OK, that one is going to get the juices flowing. Does anybody…
Phil: Angus, pardon the interruption, but what about that?
Angus: Sorry, but you’ve lost me. What do you mean?
Brian: He’s right. “Got My Juices Flowing.” Is that what you were getting at, Phil?
Phil: Exactly.
Angus: This is why I’ve come really to value these meetings? I was going to suggest, before being so productively interrupted, “Wired for Rock.”
Cliff: Kudos, gentlemen.
Angus: OK, we’re halfway there.
Brian: I notice we haven’t dealt much with liquor yet. I love the sex-based titles, but need I remind you all that AC/DC thrives on variety. I keep coming back to the word “jigger.” Your thoughts?
Malcolm: What about “Two Jiggers of Love”?
Cliff: That just adds to the sex thing.
Angus: Right, right, but we could address that in the lyrics, juxtaposing images of alcohol with those of sex, a compare/contrast construct.
Brian: I think I can make that work.
Angus: Okay, moving along. Brian, you’re shared only one idea.
Brian: Well, I wanted to give the other guys a chance, to cultivate diversity of opinion.
Angus: Certainly, but we’re on a schedule.
Brian: All right. “Depth Charge,” “Rocket Launcher,” “Smell of Love,” and “Eat My Fist.”
Cliff: I’d say we have an album, gentlemen. I move that we accept this slate of titles for our next album.
Brian: I second the motion.
Malcolm: All in favor?
All: Aye.
Angus: Excellent work. A final reminder: we’ve scheduled a meeting tomorrow at 3 p.m., to commence the songwriting process. If you’d like, we can also hold an informal session this evening at my house.
Brian: Sounds great. I move we adjourn.
Cliff: Second.
Malcolm: All in favor?
All: Aye.

Ghost in the Machine

Is BurningBird back? Sorta, kinda, and this makes me happy all out of proportion to what I might have expected. There’s been a disconcerting Shelley-shaped hole in the neighbourhood of late. She asks “Just how real is all of this?” and I haven’t really got an answer for that. The first thing that pops into my mind (the first thing being what I usually go with, as you’re probably aware if you’ve been reading my crap for any length of time) : “f–k art, let’s dance!”
(I don’t know if Shelley is still working on ThreadNeedle, but if she is, here are some very cool blogthread visualization ideas that someone geekier and smarter than myself might like to investigate.
I’ve been thinking about and researching this a bit today after following David’s pointer to Jon.
Have a look at PeopleGarden and WebFan. I find WebFan in particular very intuitive.
The projects at the MIT Social Media Group site are also interesting.
And Warren Sack’s Conversation Map Interface for Very Large Scale Conversations is working again on the sample Usenet data, since the last time I checked. Amazing work. )

Opera comma soap dot

This is fascinating, and makes me wonder what would have happened if we’d gone forward with the tail-end-of-the-bubble dotcom dream myself and some of my Australian friends and co-conspirators had gotten to talking dollars with the venture capitalists about.
This paragraph especially rings a bell for me :

and i guess that’s one of the main issues here.. along with believing that pyra was a different kind of company, i also never truly believed that the hierarchy of the company existed for any reason other than for show. of course, we needed people to be in charge, and those responsibilities were well handled while i was there, for the most part anyway. but doesn’t a true leader consider the votes of the troops to be equal to that of his or her own vote?

Jack Saturn doesn’t really ask for his job back, in a seemingly bitter but apparently satirical letter to Ev referencing old problems at Pyra and the whole BloggerDrama.
Metafilter duly notes it, and some highly obnoxious turds take Jack to task, simply because they can, I guess.
Ev comments briefly, and replies at length on the thread.
Jack replies to that, at length.
There’s probably some side stuff that I haven’t noticed. Other players in the drama (which I do not claim to understand, entirely, but find fascinating) have remained silent thus far. Link me up if you know about it. I just love gossip : one of my many weaknesses. Sue me.
(By the way, I will finish the Mexico story soon. Not as amusing as the first part, perhaps, but possibly instructional.)

Vodka Odyssey

I made this for an SA Thread, but then realized that it didn’t have The Funny, and that it was also pretty technically deficient, mostly ’cause I’m about 5 beers into the evening.
So I’ll show it to you folks instead! Woo! I’m havin’ fun here!

Edit : After several more beers, I have posted it to the SA thread in question, which is already richly populated by dozens of remixes far superior. I am bracing myself for mockery most cutting.

Pure Genius

Somebody get this man some first-round venture funding!
Oh yeah, they don’t do that much anymore, do they? Nonetheless, this idea r0x0rs (that’d be hackeranian for ‘amuses and impresses me greatly, in no small part because of its counterculture philosophical underpinnings, my good man’. (Why start speaking 133t now, you ask? Because I have recently shaved off most of my beard, and now have a lone skateboarder-esque tuft on my chin. It’s shot through with grey, of course, but that’s just makes it r0x0r all the more, says I!))
[via the dogdoorofdeath, whose animated gif of the spread of code red also r0x0rs my b0x0rs]

Why?

Because my well-nigh limitless ego and excess of free time compels me to be the first to think up stupid sh-t, that’s why. And because I love you all so darn much.

Video

I watch a lot of video on my PC living here in KoreaLand, in large part because I have a grand total of two television channels in English : the (US) Armed Forces Korea Network (see my previous post for a hint of why I don’t tend to spend a lot time watching that) and BBC World, which is groovy, but the same news at 30 minute intervals can get a little tired after a while.
I could spend more time watching the Korean-language channel whose programming consists almost entirely of televised Starcraft matches (no, I’m not kidding – dear god I wish I were), but there’s a fairly good chance that if I did that, I would end up snorting drain cleaner. Last time I did that, I regretted it.
I’m always on the search for new and better-than-WiMP video players. WinAmp 3 has looked promising, but it’s got way too few options for tweaking playback at this stage, anyway.
I found this today, and it is hands-down the best video player I’ve ever found, particularly if, like me, you’ve got a 4 year old PC that chokes when it tries to load up WiMP. An incredible array of both video and audio tweaking options, and it’s lightweight too. Highly recommended. And it’s written by a Korean guy, which is kinda cool.

fcuk Off

Hey, my American friends, why not take the sage advice of my friend here…

I made this. If you steal it, please credit me. Not the old native guy, the other stuff. Well, not that stuff either, actually. Some underpaid governmnet employee made that...Ah, f--k it. Steal it if you want.

…and tell the bastards to go f–k themselves!
[Edit : Thanks to the random google-surfing psychos who crapped here, but I’ve closed the thread and deleted the bile, pathetically amusing as it was. Sue me.]

A New Hope?

There are almost certainly more refugees from Metafilter than there are people who actively participate, these days. The registered user count is up over 14000 at the moment, but if I recall correctly, Matt recently said that the server logs indicate there are only (only) a couple or three thousand registered users that hit the site on a regular basis. All indications, based on the numbers, at least, are that Metafilter continues to be a robust and roaring success. Matt has recently purchased some new hardware, and there are days and threads when I would defy you to find anything smarter or more amusing anywhere on the iNtARwEb.
But everywhere I turn, there is a constant keening lament about how bad the site has gotten, as compared to its long-past Glory Days. It is typical of these things, I suppose, but amuses me anyway that some disgruntloids insist that the golden age ended only recently (with a raft of calm, reasonable, and highly respected old guard users quietly calling it quits) while others point to the beginning of this year (when there were some high-profile, I’m-taking-my-ball-and-going-home departures). Still others glare and hurl imprecations (though mercifully stop short of screeching and flinging their poo) at the huge upsurge in registered users following September 11th last year, and yet other others pinpoint the date that everything went to sh-t as November 16, 2000, a day of infamy that was marked by the first appearance of a certain wonderchicken on the #006699 scene.
Michael Sippey, for instance, lamented in Swiftian style

It is a melancholy object to those who click through to the great site of MetaFilter, when they see the front page, the comment pages and the MetaTalk sections crowded with chatter, with noise, and with meaningless posts that should have never seen the light of the submit button. Readers, instead of being able to rely on MetaFilter as a trusted source of daily diversion, are forced to employ all their time in scrolling to beg sustenance for their starving minds: which, as they evolve over time, either whither into dust, or abandon their dear MetaFilter for sites unknown.

almost a year ago!
A while back, I spent some time (way too much time, compulsively hitting the refresh button, wirehead monkey at the joyjuice hotbutton) hanging around with some folks who splintered off a long time ago from the grandpappy of Metafilter cult threads, 1142 (folks I miss, but in order to actually accomplish anything with my time must continue to hug from a distance – *waves*), and amongst all the other things that were talked about, they spent a lot of their time bemoaning how bad Metafilter had gotten. These were, are, some of the smartest, most creative people I’ve ever spent time with, virtually or otherwise. The few months that I spent a lot of time there were almost a year ago.
Since then, some of them have stopped appearing at all on Metafilter, although the occasional Special Guest Appearance leads me to believe that they are still watching, still disapproving, still shaking their heads in dismay at the decline of the Mothership.
Another gang of Meta-refugees with whom I hang out, the wacky kids at 9622.net, another MeFi splinter site that was birthed from a cult thread (9622 this time, duh), although much more concerned with having fun and being silly, also note occasionally, between flinging poo and screeching, that Bad Things are happening these days.
Recently, jpoulos (one of the admins of 9622.net) has been talking about his disenchantment in more direct terms in the comments attached to this post : Why Metafilter Sucks Ass. I find myself agreeing with him, with some reservations.
jpoulos doesn’t participate at Metafilter anymore, and is missed.
Many many words have been spoken and typed about the Metafilter and how it has changed over the past year or two. Hell, I’m adding to the wordcount now, and I can’t seem to stop myself. Nick Sweeney said a few months ago :

Matt’s always been very trusting towards his membership, and in general, receives the respect that’s deserved by such trust. I can’t help thinking that it doesn’t accommodate 13,000-odd members: partly because the times don’t lend themselves to seminar-style discussion; partly because you’re dealing with the friction between oldbies and newbies, and their different conceptions of what the place is, was, and should be. ‘Member memory’ is a vital aspect of community sites, even ones which profess to deal with the transient meme-feed, and I think it’s much stronger at MeFi than Plastic: so that when you have members who take perhaps two years’ worth of discussion into the day’s discussion up against new arrivals, it’s bound to create the same kind of frustrations as a USENET September.

Nick doesn’t participate at Metafilter anymore, and is missed.
For my part, I’ve written defenses both impassioned and tongue-in-cheek of the place in the past. I’ve said

…things are pretty much as they’ve been since I started coming here, at least – some good days, some bad ones, some thread hijacks, some crap posts, some egos and wrestling matches, some absolute diamond-hard fascinating discussions, some erudition, some crap jokes, some pee-myself-laughing ones too, a generally tolerant and friendly hubbub.

and other things, more embarrassingly and openly in love with the place.
I personally think the exodus started when Jason Kottke posted this Metatalk thread not long after the massive influx of users after September 11th, which seemed to be a continuation of a real-world conversation that he and Matt had been having. Matt commented in the thread that he was tired of it all, and thinking about folding the tent. Much consternation ensued, and I honestly think that some people who might have stuck around and dug in their heels to try and make the place better and lead by example threw in the towel at this point.
There were other things – the rise in chattiness, the rise in incivility, the decline in collective intelligence, the increase in jokiness and pointless IRC-esque chatter (in which I admit my occasional participation) – most of which were probably as a result of the massive influx of new users.
Whatever the reason, even though there are many voices still participating that I enjoy hearing, lots of people with whom I enjoy interacting, I’ve got to agree for the first time in public that the Mothership is not what it once was.
What to do? This is the $64,000 Question, of course. I still enjoy the place a lot, and will continue to participate until Matt bans me permanently for conduct unbecoming a wonderchicken, but I am starting to understand a little better the complaints that I’ve ignored or argued against for so long. To some extent I wish that I’d paid them more heed a year ago.
(Should I mention my theory about the disenfranchisement of the A-List now? No, perhaps not. Not until my secret plans for World Domination have been hatched, my pretties. Not until then.)
It has been said, and truly, ‘it’s only a website’. Can you love a website? Is it internet-era pathological behavior to say ‘I love that website’?
I dunno.
But some days it feels as if my love is turning into common street trash before my eyes, and no matter how well-documented my weaknesses for common street trash, that’s just not the girl I fell in love with.

Existence

This late evening, reading AKMA, who was messing around with a lovely, famous phrase from the good Doctor W, made me want to make this. Just for fun. I like playing around with stuff.

existence.jpg

Edit : While I’m at it, I also took some words from one of his recent posts and made this for Rageboy today, for Gary’s collage, because though I’ve never met the man, I love him, and it would seem that he’s very unhappy, and I have no idea what else I could possibly do.

rb2.jpg

Unspeakable Coolness

Like Graham said : The coolness of this thing just blows me away. Here’s a picture
(popup, 75k) of the web of blogs related to me, according to Google, 3 deep. Fascinating. You can double click on any of the other blogs, and the app will go and find the cloud of sites googly-related to it, in turn. One surprise would be the absence of Burningbird, but I seem to recall her excluding the Googlebot from her domains some time ago, so that makes sense after all. Interesting too, that my strongest connection through to a cloud of Metafilter bloggers is via jonmc’s View From The Counter. I would have expected 9622.net to be on there…
This makes the propellor on my beanie whiz at a frightening speed.

Public Service Announcement

And now, as a special public service announcement, here’s some stupid sh-t that was running through my brain this afternoon as I made some chicken cacciatore :
Since it seems we’ve been saddled with the monicker ‘warbloggers’ for the forseeable future, I thought we should open up some more niches for folks, you know, so they don’t feel left out. You can have hours of fun, if you’re so inclined, assigning your friends and neighbours to the right Tribe, a la the Harry Potter thing. If I had the energy, I’d make one of those stupid f–king quizzes. But I don’t. So… onward!
I propose the foundation of the following new BlogTribes :

  • whorebloggers : only in it for the money, heart of gold or not.
  • were-bloggers : tried it once, didn’t see the attraction, went back to reading Fark
  • werebloggers : only blog by the light of the moon, have trouble with getting their claws caught between the keys
  • wearbloggers : fashion victims
  • wiredbloggers : learned all their html from Webmonkey
  • whybloggers : what’s it all about, Alfie?
  • whoahbloggers : Dude, Keanu says : ‘Whoah.’
  • warebloggers : just like playing with the tools
  • wherebloggers : huh? wha? who did what where now?
  • wartbloggers : ugly as sin In Real Life, beautiful flowers online
    and my favorite new Wonderchicken Approved™ Blogtribe

  • wheebloggers : fast, loose, enthusiastically voluble, and probably drunk
  • Any additions?